I have a fear. It's not a big fear, it's really so small I shouldn't even consider it but it's creeped in there none the less. I'm afraid this euphoria and tremendous feeling of well being can't last. Logically, rationally I know it most certainly won't. I know that I'll come back down to earth and this project will seem as difficult and dreary as can be. Changing the way you've managed your life for a very long time isn't easy. The thing is... right now it's crazy easy, and that's what worries me a bit. It feels like it should be harder, but it isn't - it feels right, a planets aligning kind of right, if you follow me.
So... the decision I 've made today is to just go with it. You see, before, I'd let a little a little kernel of doubt wedge its way into the back of my mind and I'd let it sit there and fester. I'd worry it, fret it and pretty soon it'd get so big it'd pretty much take over. I'd derail myself before I even got a good start. I'd think , "well, things are going to go tragically wrong somewhere down the line so I might as well stop now and save the disappointment". Not this time. I feel good today and I anticipate feeling good tomorrow...
Maybe this time I can string enough good todays together and before you know it... nope, no predictions... it's enough I feel good TODAY.
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