Worth the effort

I can't decide whether to yell at me or congratulate me.  For no good reason I can think of I'll choose the latter.

Getting back on this healthy band wagon is easier than I thought it would be. Get excited about food again, exercise some and drink the water. Easy-peasy. So easy, in fact, it brings me back to why I stop doing it in the first place. This is where the yelling at me bit comes in. Why does it takes my jeans becoming uncomfortably snug to push me back to something I know feels great?

I wonder if all of us with this particular concern don't feel deep down that somehow we're not worth the effort. Does my self esteem really plummet so low that doing right by myself becomes an over whelming chore? What wiring in my brain short circuits when the topic becomes me looking after me? I can pay lip service to the fact that I think I'm a terrific person but since actions speak louder than words, I haven't been treating myself like I actually believe that's true.

Maybe I'm congratulating myself cuz I remembered that today I'm worth the effort. Somehow I woke up to the thought: today I'm worth it. This whole process might just be a bunch of days strung together where I keep believing that. Enough days strung together and I may get to stop reminding myself because it will have become a habit.

Today I am worth the effort.